Epic biography is epic.

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I started my new class this week. Part of the first week's assignments is to write a 300-500 word introduction for the rest of our classmates to get to know who we are. Though I'm in school to be a writer, one of the things I loath is writing about myself (and yet I blog. About my life. Yes, I see the irony.) Anyways, the thought of writing a generic biography about myself and my hobbies bores me nearly to tears. As a result, I reached out to the lovely Melynda for assistance. She agreed, and wrote probably the most wonderful, epic biography anyone has ever written about me. I felt the need to share this with the world, as it must be read.

Coincidentally, it's all true. Honest.


Though no one know s exactly where Jessica Mulholland was born, there has been more than enough speculation. Some say she was raised by wildlife, foraging for her meals of twigs, berries, and small animals; others surmise that it was Shaolin Monks, still some insist that her existence is not of this planet. Whatever the circumstances of her unique upbringing, it’s safe to say it was anything but normal.
With an intellect that never ceases to astonish, Jessica expresses a superhuman capacity for patience as she attends a school that has her constantly surrounded by people who make up the category directly underneath “imbecilious bafoon”. The fact that she has yet to point out the flaming ignorance around her demonstrates that Jessica has a heightened sense of compassion that most mere mortals cannot grasp.
Through a well-polished persona, Jessica successfully mingles with normal people without ever making anyone feel unequal. With a quick wit, smile, and sense of humor that is tough to rival, she blends in well in social situations like a chameleon.
Jessica’s lifetime accomplishments include various humanitarian missions to Ecuador, the invention of the t.v tray, and perhaps her biggest accomplishment came in the form of the envelope. Until Jessica’s mysterious arrival in our world, envelopes were sealed with fancy wax labels. Jessica was the mastermind behind the current method. After an abrupt envelope-licking frenzy in a stationary store somewhere in Spokane, word of her genius got out. This singularly impressive accomplishment has earned her a national holiday (Envelope Day, 22 Feb), a prestigious picture on the box of most envelopes, and an honorary seat at the annual Envelop Licking contest held in Spokane. It is said that Jessica still quite enjoys the taste of envelopes and is working with jones Soda Co. out of Seattle to make Envelope it’s next official flavor.

You're welcome.

Back to school.

Yesterday was the day every college student (or every student ever, I suppose) dreads. My winter vacation ended, and I started back to school. Now, I guess it’s not so bad for me, since I go to school online and don’t have to actually physically go to class, but still. This was the first real break I’ve gotten since starting school in May, and it went way too fast.

The class I’ve started is Computer Science and Internet. Sounds thrilling, yes? It seems like the main assignment is a group project, which I’m a bit skeptical about considering it’s all online and the groups have to figure out a way to collaborate and create a podcast video from our various locations. I’m trying to stay optimistic.

Other than that, there’s really nothing else going on. I’ve spent all too much time playing angry birds recently, so there’s that.

Musicals. Musicals everywhere!

One of my aspirations has always been to audition for a play or a musical. I’ve never acted before, though I’ve always been interested. I came close to being in the Wizard of Oz in high school but couldn’t afford the fee required.

Anyways, the Blonde is auditioning for Grease this March, and has asked me to audition with her. I agreed, and I am terrified and also really excited. The theater that is putting on the play is the largest in our area, and the cast is fairly small, but hey, I think I’d make an awesome Jan.

That’s right, I said Jan. I love me some Jan. Remember her?

I think her character is underappreciated and hilarious and hey, she loves food and I love food so it seems fitting.

In order to get ready for the audition, I need to work on getting into better shape. I’m not going to lie - I could stand to lose a few pounds. Okay, more than a few. Anyways, I’m going to start working toward being more active and more conscientious of what I’m eating, drink more water, all that good stuff. I have to be able to dance, and sing, and dance and sing at the same time… Will be interesting!

In other news, I think it can officially be said that Angelica and I are completely and totally obsessed with Les Miserables. We’ve each seen either the 10^th or the 25^th anniversary concerts multiple times in the past week (I lost count), which are amazing, just FYI. We’ve acquired the soundtracks. Yes, soundtracks. It’s plural on purpose. She hadn’t seen the movie yet, so I took her yesterday and we had a Les Mis lady date. Seriously, addicted.

Hope this post finds you well!

WTF, Pinterest?

So as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I have an addiction to Pinterest. I probably spend way too much time on that website than I should. But the first step is to admit that you have a problem, right?

I also browse other blogs that are Pinterest related, such as Pintester and Pinterest, You are Drunk.

I recently created a board titled WTF, Pinterest? I made this board mostly because late, late at night when I can’t sleep I always somehow manage to find my way to the weird part of Pinterest and find many things that make me go WTF?

Early this morning, I wound up in the Women’s Fashion section and found some things that I just don’t understand, and I thought I’d share them with you.

I don’t even know where to start with these, except to just ask why?

I love Star Wars. Really, I do. But I can’t comprehend why anyone would want a giant, realistic portrait of the Death Star plastered onto their body via skin-tight dress.

These shoes look like someone took a Jackson Pollock painting and turned it into a pair of heels. Why?

I guess some things I’ll never understand, and “high fashion” is one of them.