Holy hiatus, Batman.

Alright, so I'll admit that sometimes... Okay, most times, I have difficulty keeping up with things I've started (i.e. this blog). In my defense, life tends to catch up with me and makes having enough down-time to pretend I have something valuable to share with the world via blog post nearly impossible.

That probably didn't make any sense. Oh well.

I can't promise it won't happen again, but for now I'm back. Still with no real rhyme or reason, but still honest and filled with little insights into my mind and life.

Speaking of my life, a lot has changed in the several months since I last wrote. For those of you who are interested, here's a quick game of catch-up, in no particular order:

-I quit my crappy job in favor of a new, slightly less crappy job.
-Said slightly less crappy job caused some issues, and hence I quit said job. I am now jobless, but looking forward to figuring out what comes next.
-I met the love of my life, a wonderful man named Justin who (God only knows how) puts up with me and claims to be as enamored with me as I am with him. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that one.
-I moved out of the apartment I was living in with my siblings, and am now living with said wonderful man. We're currently in a debate as to whether or not it's plausible to rearrange the living room furniture, but other than that it's going well. Neither has threatened the other with weapons... Yet...

I'm sure there's more, but it's nearly 3am and my brain's automatic shut-off went into effect about 3 hours ago. Y'all should be impressed I'm still functioning well enough to almost make sense.

Ta ta for now, folks.

Ahh, retail...

As mentioned in a previous post, I work retail. Not just retail, but at an overstock store. If you don’t know what that means, it’s pretty simple: we receive stock from suppliers who either ordered too much or simply don’t want the merchandise. We then sell said merchandise for an extremely discounted price.

The benefit of a store like this is the discounts. Seriously, some of the prices are unbelievable. Add in a 20% employee discount and I can find reason to buy nearly anything we stock.

The downside of a store like this is we sometimes get some… Let’s say special customers.

An example of that:

Tonight, as I was cashiering, a man and his girlfriend came through my register and were purchasing a large amount of items. The woman stepped outside as I was ringing up their order, leaving me to make small talk with the man. He started joking that he was tired and his brain wasn’t working, and then said that he didn’t learn how to count because he went to school in Idaho. All pretty innocent, and he had me and my coworker laughing.

Flash forward to the end of the transaction, when it comes time to pay. I announce his total, which was $218, and wait as he digs out a giant wad of cash and starts pulling bills out. He hands me $125, and I wait expectantly. I ask if he wants to put the remainder on a card, and he just stares at me. So I fan out the bills and point out that he’s still about $100 short, and he continues to stare at me. After about a minute of me staring back, it dawns on him that I need more money. So he tosses another $20 on the counter.

“That’s great,” I say, “but your total is $218. This is only $145.”

More staring.

“WAIT!” he yells. “Are you sure you’re not taking my hundreds?!” He looks from the money in my hands to the money in his. “I had four hundreds and now I only have…”

He looks again from the money in my hands back to the money in his, counting.

“OH! There’s still four. Never mind!”

He hands me another $100, I give him back $25, and then ring out his transaction.

His change came out to $1.62, which I handed to him with a smile, as he asked me to please count it out for him. So I did, as ridiculous as it seemed.

I’ve been accused of stealing money from customers before (a hazard of working the night shift), but this guy takes the cake.